lilbunnygirl:

*gives you a lap dance for curly fries*

lampsarepeopletoo:

the worst part about having a crush on someone is everything

sodamnrelatable:

whorville:

I have bullshitted my way through almost two decades of life

canadianslut:

*sprays febreze on your attitude*

nigerian:

[singing in shower] [simon cowell appears] “its a no from me”

tickettoheaven:

chafing-nipples:

dangermat:

when bananas rot they secrete stuff that makes other fruit including bananas near them rot faster
that’s so fucked up that is murder suicide
bananas commit murder suicide

that’s pretty fucking metal

I’d say it’s pretty fucking

bananas

cofeecigarettes:

cj-twig:

i want kids but i dont wanna be pregnant or give birth but i dont wanna adopt either because i want them to be mine do you see my problem

basically you want to be a father

this is the most accurate thing i ever read